if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
