I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
