he puts the penis in happiness.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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