he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
