Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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