I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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