so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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