I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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