whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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