i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
