margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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