Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
