your room smells of hookers.
And success
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
