Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
