I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
