I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
How does it feel to date your dad?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
