i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
