The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
