Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I love having hate sex.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
