You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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