she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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