You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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