fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
