I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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