i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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