i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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