That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
