we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
40s are totally the cure
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
