You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
