She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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