3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
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