plz talk dirty to me
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
