So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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