They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
