One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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