he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize