She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
