There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
