I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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