Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
