Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
