I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize