I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
