therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
