perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
