What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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