This girl is more easily done than said...
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
