So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Randomize
