Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
