why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
