Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
