He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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