I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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