i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Randomize
