Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
