i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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