I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
