Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
