She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
