I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
